A public test of willpower
*Disclaimer–I’m not sure this post/series has anything to do with bliss and, in fact, probably has more to do with self-contempt, insecurity, and vanity. Vanity, to me, seems like a false bliss, in that it is an outward pursuit, rather than an inward journey. But, that’s kind of what this series will be based on…my natural, human egotism. It also has to do with my personal willpower, which I have serious doubts about. Phew! Glad I got all of that on the table! Now that your expectations are sufficiently lowered slash altered, I can proceed, and you, well, you can either continue to follow my silly journey or quickly close your browser window.
I have had very short hair for the last 5 years and despite the ignorant men in my family’s homo-phobic comments, I have loved it, embraced it, and really grown to claim it as my trademark. My husband loves the short hair and prefers it to the longer locks I had when he first met me. Finally, not that it really should matter, but the general consensus of people in my life, is that I just look better with short hair–it’s very ‘me’.
So why would I ever want to grow my hair out? It’s a fair question. One of the answers is that, deep down inside of me, I’ve always wanted Brazilian supermodel hair. You know the type: long, flowing, wavy, shiny, generally luscious. I inwardly feel like I would look more feminine and sexy with long, wavy, red locks and that maybe I could get a boob job and become a Victoria’s Secret model that might be good for my self-confidence and also a welcome change.
The second reason I want to grow it out is so that I can eventually cut it again and donate it to Locks of Love. A couple of years ago I vowed to do this, along with my nieces…and I quit, while they continued to follow through with their promise. In my defense, I started with a LOT less hair than they did.
The final reason I want to do this is to prove to myself that I CAN DO IT. ’Nuf said.
Below are photos I took at my last trim. Isn’t my hair awesome? Why am I doing this again? No, Tobi! Don’t try to talk yourself out of this, before it’s even started! I will continue to have damage-control done regularly. You see, I have mullet-tendencies. The back of my hair grows three times as fast as the front, which would’ve been awesome in 1985 or if I lived in Europe, but as of now I’m just not into the Joe Dirt look. Also, I have incredibly bushy, thick tresses, and will need a de-bushing every six weeks or so.
My goals are simple:
1. Don’t trim more than a quarter inch, every six weeks.
2. Take a prenatal vitamin to aide in hair growth.
3. Enjoy each stage, trying to find fun styles/colors for the awkward phases.
4. Take a photo and post every two weeks on my emotions/progress.
5. Don’t cave and get it all cut off 3, 9, 15 or 24 months in.
Wish me luck, I’m going to need it.
XO, Tobi
You do look awesome with short hair! But it’s hard to argue against a good cause/overwhelming determination
I have absolutely no idea what “normal” is, but how long does your hair normally have to be before it can be donated?
Oh thank you! I think you have to have at least 10 inches of pony-tail to donate! That means I only have about 15 inched to go….
I love your short hair! I’ve been growing mine out from a pixie cut since Dec. of 2010 and it’s now down to my shoulders and is very wavy if not frizzy most days. I still plan to grow it out even more, I too long for the beachy waves of a model!
This must be a natural longing! And I’m glad I’m not the only one! It sounds like your hair growth has come a long way in the last 2 years–it’s very encouraging
Believe me I’ve wanted to give up many times but somehow manage to talk myself out of it.
Good luck, I look forward to your updates!
Thanks! I’m excited/dreading it
I am in the process of growing my hair out too. I donate to Locks of Love every 2-3 years and so far I have donated twice my height in hair (11 ft or so). My largest donation was 36″! I always chop my hair too short just to get a few extra inches and it’s always akward trying to get used to having 2 ft. or more of hair missing from my overly curly head. But I don’t have to spend 30 mins trying to get a brush through it, I use half the sampoo and conditioner that I did before and I can actually feel a cool breeze on my neck. But the thing I love most: the one thing I dislike most about my self (curly, frizzy, unmanageable hair) is something I can get rid of to help someone else. It’s a win-win! I get to have a funky short-do for a while and for a good cause (my husband prefers long hair) and a child gets to know what it feels like to have real hair on their heads and look like averybody else. Just a few more inches and I’m back to Sage Spa for their free Locks of Love cut! What a great deal for everyone! Good Luck on your adventure, Tobi, it’s soooo worth it!
Oh wow, Jill! That is so cool that you do that, and I had no idea! That is such a good win-win. I have frizzy hair and when I wore it long back in the day, I always straitened it. I’m not sure what I’m going to do with it now, once it’s longer. It’s going to be sooooo much more high-maintenance! However, you have inspired me, so thank you. And if you have any fast growing tips, feel free to share!!
I think your short hair is very cute, but I’m totally behind the idea of mixing things up! Personally, I’ve had boy short hair, red hair, brunette hair, bangs (and every time I said I would never again do bangs), long hair and now, as you know, I have medium-length blonde hair. LIfe’s too short to let your haircut define you. I can’t wait to see how it looks as it grows out! I wish you the fewest cowlicks and least amount of mulletishness possible
Good luck!
I too have vowed never to have bangs again, many times. What is it with them? What’s their appeal?! I have also had many a color and length but I’ve never been blond. I’m thinking I will have to go there during this process, then I can see if hey really do have more fun
I think the hard part will be faithfully taking the pills!
But very good luck to you. Your hair, your life, and may all the ignorant opinion-givers go bald.
Look forward to following you along the journey!
Haha! Funny you should mention it but, they are already balding! Thanks for the luck and the laugh!
Also, I haven’t even bought the pills yet, so I’m off to a bad start…
Best of luck to you, Tobi! You’ll look beautiful either way, even if you have to rename your blog “Hunting for Mullet Release.”
I’m laughing out loud at your comment! Hunting for mullet release…if I didn’t get trims it would surely be the case!!
Best wishes, hopefully it grows fast enough you wont have to donate it to “dove” because it has gray! Hehehe j/k
Haha! If it does take that long, hopefully they can dye it or something!
OMG.. love this blog.. I’m a short hair fan for all of the reasons you stated.. and also, I tried and keep trying to grow it out.. one day I noticed I was down below my shoulders.. first time in over 15 years.. and it took about 7 years to do it. Yes.. 7 YEARS.. so slow it grows.. I will NEVER have long braz hair.. it never flows and I look like one of those long haired long nosed dogs when i try it.. so I cut it all off again.. my daughters are like.. uh.. yeah it does look better but MEN like longer hair on women.. such a situation. At any rate.. good luck, it’s a good cause.. I need my hair cut but it’s hard to find a good short hair cutter in Venezuela.. so I may unintentionally follow suit..
7 years is a heck of a wait!! I most certainly won’t last that long! It is very hard to get haircuts abroad…I have a story for that (i might have to blog about it)!
You should.. just let me know when you do.. I am follically challenged.. I am not sure what you would call a person who’s hair grows as slow as mine.. and it’s not thin, so not sure what the problem is..
Short hair IS very you, but I do believe in good causes. I’ve always wanted to go really short, but totally lack the cajones. Maybe someday…
I think now is the time for you to go short, then we could grow out together!!!
You look good with short hair. Is the banner picture considered long/short hair?
In any case, women can look pretty with short hair too, and it takes confidence and poise. You have very sharp features and you’re keeping your hair long, to cut it again for a good cause. I guess all is fine
The banner picture is short hair but it is pushed back with a head band. Thanks for the comment and the compliment
You can do it!
Ahh! Thanks!
My hair was the same length as yours two and a half years ago and now its almost at my elbows. Once it gets past that inbetweeny length it’ll be fine.
Wow! That’s amazing! How did you do it? Tell me please!
I’m not sure! I started making a point to eat more protein this year, which might have helped. And I swim a lot so it’s constantly wet, and being washed etc. Don’t know if that stimulates it or anything? This is all guesswork so don’t quote me!
Ok, noted!
You are lucky to look so good with short hair! My hair is thin and I would love to cut it that lenghth, but unfortunately, my face is very round and wide and I’d look like one of those giant yellow happy faces if I didn’t have long hair to distinguish myself from them. haha! Go you for growing it for a cause! This is so fun! I will love to follow your hair growing journey.
I just had an aha moment reading your comment…I think that me growing my hair out is the pain equivalent of someone who’s always had long hair cutting it all off! It’s a scary/vulnerable feeling and I’m sure there will be tears along the way! I doubt you look that much like the yellow happy face, but if you did that would seemingly be really fun and make people smile everywhere you go!!
Half way in I knew I was going to suggest the prenatal vitamin thing and pat myself on the back for being so knowledgeable, but you were ten steps ahead of me (I am sure this isn’t little known knowledge anyway). Good luck!
darn it! i hate when my thunder gets stolen…
I think it’s fun playing with hair as it grows out
I think it’s awesome that you want to donate it to locks of love!!! That’s on my bucket list 
Good luck 
Thank you!! I hope it will be fun and not torturous
Great idea for a series, Tobi, can’t wait to see how it goes
You look really good now but I guess you’ll also look stunning with long hair. I totally relate to your questioning about hair. I also feel like my shorter haircut is a kind of “signature” because most women have shoulder-length to long hair (and my fiancé also prefers it that way). At the same time, nothing is more glamourously than long curls flowing around- tough (and a bit vain!) choice. I wrote a post not so long ago about the psychology of haircuts, a change of hairstyle is often much deeper than vanity 
Oops, please forgive (and correct!) my typos! I’m writing from my iPhone
I hate when that happens! It’s all good though
Does your fiance prefer it longer or shorter? I know that I will cut it off again eventually, because it’s SO much easier and more fun too! I would love to get a link to your post about haircuts, please
I’m very interested in the psychology of it all!
BTW, Cecile, I was driving my nieces to the farmer’s market the other night and there was no parking anywhere. I told my nieces that we were going straight to the front row and that God would provide us with a spot. They looked at me like I was joking…but sure enough, there it was waiting for us, the only open spot by the front entrance
They were so amazed and it was a great teaching moment!! xoxo
That’s really cool Tobi, I bet your nieces will start asking the universe for things as well now- it all started that way for me
My fiancé prefers me with shorter hair (not as short as yours though, I cut it all once but didn’t look as good as you).
Anyway, here is the post for the full story:
http://tryingtobeconscious.wordpress.com/2012/06/11/the-psychology-of-haircuts/
I won’t try to jinx you but you do have GREAT short hair! As a sista in short hair, though, I know how hard it is to try to grow it out (have tried numerous times). It starts to curl over my ears and a few days later, out come the scissors! I’ll be rooting you on to success – and perhaps I’ll be inspired once again. Go girl!
it’s true that as soon as it touches the ears, i start to freak out and frantically call my stylist! thanks for cheering me on!
Good luck, Tobi! I have a feeling you are one of those rare, lucky souls who looks great with short hair and great with long hair. I know the growing out process is long but you can do it! It will grow faster than you realize
I bobbed my hair a while ago and frantically wanted it long again. So I cut out a picture of Kate Middleton with gorgeous, bouncing, flowy locks, and reminded myself of my end goal any time I felt the itch to trim it when it was in the awkward phase. A year later, it’s long again!
I like the cutout idea! I may have to do that…perhaps a VS model shot…but then I would probably just feel bad about myself
Badass. I dig your short hair. In fact I often stop women on the street who have super cropped cuts because I love them. I have looong hair. I’ve cut it a bunch of times to about my smiley line but never shorter. I have always feared going just that extra bit shorter for fear of not being perceived as feminine. Dumb, huh. Good for you for growing it out and for your motivation to donate it. Good luck!
It’s not dumb, I’ve felt the same, and still do sometimes. Thanks for weighing in!
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bahahha I love this Tobi!!!! You said you were going to do this and you did! Now get that sexy hair growing!
I’m trying!!
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