Not Another Post About Mother’s Day
When brainstorming about a post for Mother’s Day, I thought I should do a tribute to women, mother’s specifically, honoring all types of them, even those without child. But then I remembered that I’ve already done that, which you can read here, if you’d like. So, I thought I’d get a little more specific and honor my very own mama. My goofy, FEISTY mom.
Every year in preparation for the day of mother’s I go to Target or Hallmark to try to find a card for my mom. But, every single time, I struggle to find the perfect card that speaks to our unique relationship, and every year, as I file through hundreds of mushy cards, I vow to myself that I will start my own line of greeting cards that cater to “real” families. It seems like most of the them speak to the kind of close mother/daughter relationship that involves long chats about wedding plans, cake baking, shopping, and other nurturing, touchy-feely stuff. I used to want that relationship, that mother who baked and always had a hot meal on the table. I wanted the mom that was married to my dad, and who I could put on a pedestal as the perfect example of a wife and mother (June Cleaver, maybe). I wanted the mom that would travel thousands of miles just to help me put my broken heart back together. But, that isn’t the mom that I have and it has taken me a good while to accept her the way that she imperfectly is.
Mom and I were on our own after my parent’s divorce. When I was 16, we packed up and moved to a new town, scared and heartbroken. In that time, we had to take care of ourselves. She worked and I worked and went to school. It was then that our relationship began to evolve into a friendship. We chatted about life and boys and commiserated over our daily struggles. At one point, we even worked in the same restaurant. It wasn’t a typical parent/child relationship, as I had almost complete independence and was alone much of the time. We settled into our new liberated roles, away from the rigid lifestyle we’d had on the ranch. To this day, we are more like good girlfriends than mother & daughter.
Over the last several years I’ve realized that the way I wanted my mom (or whole family) to look, was not real, but some vision from a Disney movie or a 1960′s sitcom. These ideal situations may exist for a precious few, but reality usually isn’t that pretty, and it’s never perfect in the sense that we think it should be. My mom has overcome so much and I admire her strength and her character. Her open heart always inspires me to continue loving, even after I’ve been hurt.
My mom is on a beautiful journey to find herself, which doesn’t always look the way I think it should, but she is finding her wings…The wings that had been clipped for the first part of her life. She now goes on adventures, goes dancing, tries new things, takes chances on love, and most importantly, takes care of herself. I’m so proud of her. She is imperfectly perfect and I wouldn’t change her or trade her for all of the June Cleavers in the world.
By the way, hi mom! Happy Mother’s Day! Bet you didn’t see this coming. You are a great example of a real woman. Thanks for all of the love and support. I love you.
XO, Sober Sid